Adios Muchachos

Perhaps readers out there have heard the news that this will be my final day writing for The Scene. Which in turn means this will be the last installment of the Lighter Side.

Now before my readers start worrying about how they are going to waste time and kill brain cells if there is no Lighter Side to read, let me reassure you their will still be plenty of pointless dribble printed in the Daily Record in my absence.

“But David,” one might say. “Without the Lighter Side how will we find out about such important issues such as great white shark attacks in the River and stray dogs taking illegal anabolic steroids?”

That’s a very good question and I thank you concerned reader for asking. Those who want to keep abreast of the latest in asinine news and my rants and raves are invited to visit www.davidslightersid.bloggerspot.com where the mayhem that is the Lighter Side will continue.

And the best part is there is no evil big brother censoring my writings at www.davidslightersid.bloggerspot.com. For instance like the way the title of this column was censored. Find out the truth behind the newspaper pages at www.davidslightersid.bloggerspot.com.

Now onto the big news of the week, the AP reported the Russians will not fire Madonna into space in 2007.

This comes as bad news to everyone who has ever heard Madonna sing. The upside perhaps they will have room for Prince on board.

The idea was conceived to garner publicity in an election year for the Russian Space Program and the singer who has expressed interest in taking a trip to outer space.

Madonna is not the first celebrity to express an interest space travel. Recall if you will Lance Bass’s training with NASA for a shuttle launch in 2002, when his check bounced. So instead of going to the moon, Bass decided to come out of the closet. A trip none the less.

I tackled this important issue in prior columns where I discussed the extreme waste of time and money spent when the genral public pays to go into outer space as a “tourist” or what I like to call UFI (unidentified flying idiot).

Well since then I have had lots of time to think about this issue of citizen space travel and I am prepared to redefine my opinion of it. I am opposed to commercial space travel in all forms unless it pertains to celebrities such as Madonna.

In fact I propose an all celebrity mission called “Stars to the Stars.” Basically we will stick a bunch of so called celebrities on a giant spaceship and launch them to dwarf-planet Pluto where they can all entertain each other.

Aside from Madonna and Prince the crew will consist of Brittany Spears, Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton, Craig Ferguson, Carrot Top, Mr. T, Lindsey Lohan, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, the entire cast of Friends, Flava Flav, Jake Plummer and that annoying guy from American Idol.

If the shuttle explodes on the launch pad NASA will consider the mission a success. I’m sure there could be a “Stars to the Stars” mission II, III and so on because really the list of people who qualify is endless.

Well there it is, my final column for what it’s worth. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank those people who made this all possible.

First I’d like to thank the first admendment, which gives me the strength to tackle such hard-hitting issues. My wife Becky, who helped me conceive half my columns. Big ups to the DR for printing my diatribes. Mad Man Macalla, for being one cool boss. A big shout out to the newsroom that had my back all the way. My stalker, I couldn’t have done it without you man; take your meds and keep the hate mail coming. Sports Dude, mad respect for believing in my chops, Coyote’s for all the caffeine Oh man I don’t want to forget anybody… what? I know I’m out of time. Oh yea the Record Breakers are No. 1.

Peace ya’ll I’m out.

Welcome

Welcome to The Lighter Side.

A venue where I take a look at the more humorous aspects of life and the world we live in. This website will serve as a new medium for the column "The Lighter Side" which recently came to an end. That column will be posted shortly.

In this Blog readers can enjoy an honest commentary on current events and news. I vow to use these posts to only confront the most important issues facing the world today, such as the spreading contamination of e coli in spinach and the threat posed by rouge Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

Check back frequently as I intended to keep this site updated. Till then…